For a lot of women who have gone through miscarriage, identifying the possible cause of losing their pregnancy becomes the first rational step after initial feelings of grief and denial. This is a natural coping mechanism to fulfil a need to understand what “went wrong” for the pregnancy. But this rationalisation can often also push someone into a rabbit hole of overthinking, self-blame, and anger about the miscarriage that happened.
Yes, it can be incredibly important to be able to make sense of a pregnancy loss. This can help a woman and her family reduce risks and prepare for another attempt at getting pregnant, if trying again is still very much on the cards. And it can also help a woman understand her own body when it comes to childbearing.
If stress is identified as a huge risk factor in the past pregnancy, the mother and her family can be more conscious of actual factors that contribute to her stress levels, such as domestic situations, work environment, mental health, etc.
If it’s an anatomical or hormonal issue, this can be addressed by employing the help of a fertility specialist and going on a medical plan that can promote and support a safer, healthier, successful pregnancy.
Finding out the possible causes of a miscarriage, with the right professional help, can also help rule out misconceptions, myths, and superstitious beliefs that may hound a mother after pregnancy loss.
But, the aforementioned instances are exactly just that: productive points of understanding the root of pregnancy loss. They shouldn’t be mental whips for mothers to lash themselves with after miscarriage. They shouldn’t turn into weapons of self-blame and chains of alternating regret and guilt.
OBSESSING over the possible causes of miscarriage does not serve as positive rationalisation of what happened; instead, it becomes a self-punishing thought that festers until the perceived “defect” or fault is corrected. And that is a very harmful process for a traumatised and recovering mother to be to go through.
Being mentally fixated on these reasons, too, can promote a sense of damage and inadequacy in women who have suffered through miscarriage. And this can bring on unimaginable levels of guilt and self-hatred, which only increases stress, harms one’s mental health, and can also result in unhealthy and obsessive behaviours towards one’s body or daily routine.
If you are someone who is recovering from miscarriage during fertility treatment and want to have a better understanding of your experience, I am at your service. Not only will I provide support, along with your physician, for your recovery process, I will also help you mentally and emotionally process your experience of pregnancy loss towards a more accepting and positive outlook. Let us ensure your mental and emotional health, wherever you are in your fertility journey.
Send me a message or book a consultation with me, so we can start on your healing, and you can focus your energy and thoughts on what truly matters and what is good for YOU.